HOW TO DISAPPEAR COMPLETELY ( AND NEVER BE FOUND… )

01/28/2018 My name is Javi. I’m 26. I’m considering killing myself. I think I was born wrong. Something got fucked up in the process. Everyone else was born with something they could give to the world and to others. Maybe they grew up to be good looking. Charming. Smart. Caring. A good thinker, a good […]

I CANNOT

I cannot connect with anyone. Not with my friends. Not with my family. Not with acquaintances and strangers and coworkers. I cannot absorb or receive anything from others. I cannot feel anything, except rage, resentment, suffering, grief, terror, panic. I am anticipating rejection always. I am anticipating loss always. I cannot think straight. I cannot […]

SO FΔR ΔWΔY

“I’m tired of being in love and being all alone.” I write to understand what happens inside of me. What lies within my heart. I’ve been alive for 26 years; it’s taken all of that time to discover the most basic understanding of my own self, my own thoughts, feelings, desires, and needs. I […]